Rhodes Scholar. Well, no, not really. But why not. I'm smart enough.
And dammit, people like me. Or at least some of them like my poetry. But in high school I came in second for "Most Likely to Succeed" (no, I'm not bitter). And I once found the golden ticket in my Wonka bar and got to jump in a river of melted chocolate while little people sang and danced. Oh, and I think I had a few scholastic achievements somewhere in the past. They were really impressive. Trust me on this.