Do you remember the lingo? Can you still dope that utchii? Or have you become a chode?

The DOPESPEAK ™ Compendium

May 1995 Edition

Welcome to The DOPESPEAK ™ Compendium, where you, too, can learn to speak real dope-like. A little boring history: DOPESPEAK ™ has been in existence since the begining of time, but only recently has it been recorded. The compilers of this dictionary, chiefly Karl T. Rees and Joe Li, along with various others such as Jonas Sappington, Andrew Todd Britcher, James Newman, Aaron Newman, and Bryan Coutanch, in the late winter months of 1994, felt an urgent need to record the particular dialect of dopespeak spoken fluently at Pflugerville High School. They proceeded to produce several editions of the DOPESPEAK ™ magazine, and then compiled it all in a May 1995 edition. This is it.

It has been suggested that DOPESPEAK ™ be updated, as it is not yet perfect. Unfortunately, the compilers of DOPESPEAK ™ disagree and therefore wish it to stay as is until they change their minds again. This current document is DOPESPEAK ™ at it's highest peak, though, and anything else will merely be sub-dopespeak. Please enjoy. They're mostly inside jokes, but sometimes that makes them even funnier.

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Before we get into the main stuff, though, read what the critics have to say:

“Two butt cheeks up!”
-Siskel and Ebert

“Why, yes. I do believe that DOPESPEAK ™ could feed the hungry in Africa, stop the wars in Bosnia, and generally make the world a better um... what does that last cue card say?”
A non-paid political activist. Really.

“It’s all good”
-Playboy Magazine

“I love you, you love me...”
-Barney

“Hey, Joe, you got something hard I could write on?”
-Anonymous

“If I see that dangerous tool of liberal new age crap one more time around here, there will be no, and I repeat, no more afternoon pep-rallies. Ever. And get longer shorts too.”
-Big B.

“Uh huh, it’s good”
-Better Than Ezra

“Help me. I’ve read this and now I’m spoofed. I’m melting. I’m melting...”
-(Your name here)

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The creators of DOPESPEAK ™ request that you please bear with us. There seems to be a spoof in sanity in this, the third volume of DOPESPEAK ™. We understand your pain and apologize for any inconvenience. We solemnly swear that this is the absolute last time it will happen. Really. We promise. And may STP’s fly out your eye-sherks.
-THANKS mgmt.

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Africa-hot {ah\frika-hot}

1. (adj.)- Not quite as hot as hell, but somewhere at least as hot as something one might expect to find in, oh, say....Africa. Almost as intolerable as reading Heart of Darkness. 2. The temperature of a school classroom when not in a buttfreeze.

Arizona {Air\riz\ohna}

1. (n.)- Any area of the universe that should spoof, but by some cruel act of the all-powerful Utchimomma, manages, unfortunately, to exist in the real time of all utchii. see funky.

Barney {bar\nee}

1. (n.)- The opposite of the Utchimomma and the Superchode. It is said to have been kicked out of the legendary Utchfest for daring to violate utchism. In the beliefs of neo-utchism, it now perverts the minds of innocent children in its actions, words, and blasphemous beliefs by means of a big purple polyester dinosaur.

booty {boo\tee}

1. (n.)- The rear end of a body (in most cases female). 2. Anything that should be part of the body (in most cases female), but at the time of usage is not. 3. (undefined)- Anything bad or good not covered by the first two definitions.

* note that the connotation of this word, as with utchi words and dope words, changes with the tone of the user. For example ("Aw man, bootieeee!!"), is used in reference to something dope g utcherean while ("booty") is in reference to something undope.

bootykicking {boo\tee-ki\king}

1. (adj.)- Pertaining to that which is dope. 2. describing dopeness. 3. Anything which kicks booty. 3. Pertaining to DOPESPEAK ™ 5. (n.)- Anything that comes as a direct result of an act by the creators of DOPESPEAK ™. 6. (adverb)- The act of kicking booty.

Boucher {bow\chure}

1. (n.)- see Utchimomma.

boucher {bow\chure}

1. (v.)- To dope high grades in exchange for being a slacker.

Boucher Principle, The {bow\sure-prince\ip\pal-de}

1. (law)- The pretty much proven theory that grades in certain unspecified courses are inversely related to the amount one actually cares to put effort into it.

bs {bee-es}

1. (n.)- That which is indicative of slackerism. 2. Something full of smelly utchi 3. Buff slackerism. see slackerism. 3. The act of being stupid. 5. Bullstuff.

bs {bee-es}

1. (v.)- To create nonsensical utchi that looks like, sounds like, and pretends to be real utchi, but is in fact, not utchi. * conjugation of words: uh, don't even bother.....

buddy {buh\dee}

1. (n.)- A dude, only spelled differently. 2. A familiar term usually used in conjunction with w'sup. 3. Someone associated with a group of dope g homey dudes. see w'sup.

buff {buf}

1. (v.)- Something to do at a utchfest. see utchfest. 2. To apply dopeness to.

* conjugation of words: 1st person - buff (I buff it, we buff him, they buff her). 3rd person - buffs (She buffs him, he buffs us). past tense - buffed (I buffed her, he buffed it, she buffed it yesterday). present tense - buffing (I am buffing it, he is buffing her, they are buffing now).

buff {buf}

1. (adj.)- That which rocks.

buffer {buf\fer}

1. (n.)- A thing on a computer. 2. One who is as buff as a computer. 3. One who is so buff, the computer could not comprehend it.

buffiness {buf\ee\ness}

1. (n.)- A buffy version of dopeness.

buffoon {buf\oon}

1. (n.)- One whose actions are hilariously undope and unbuff. Not to be confused with a slacker, a buffoon does not ever truly grasp how undope he/she is and instead imagines that he/she is dope. see loser.

buffy {buf\ee}

1. (adj.)- Rarely used manner of describing one who is down with the Utchi-momma. 2. (n.)- A vampire slayer.

Buttcrack o' Dawn {buht\crack-o-dawn}

1. (n.)- One of several stupid phrases that somehow managed to find its way into colloquial DOPESPEAK ™

buttfreeze {buht\frees}

1. (n.)- The degree of coldness at which all molecules in the butt cease to be able to move. 2. The temperature of a school classroom when not Africa hot.

buttload {buht\loahd}

1. (n.)- A degree of measurement. For the sake of our sensitive readers, we won't go into the specifics.

chode {choad}

1. (n.)- That which resides on the outskirts of a toilet after taking a dump. 2. (v.) The release of undope utchi from a frood. 3. (n.) A pretty swell frood. 3. A term, when used in reference to anything other than Joe Superchode Li, is felchingly undope, and sucky. (This is perhaps why the legion of the Superchode is not quite so large.)

chodemobile {choad\mo\bill}

1. (n.)- An utchmobile (though some dopnck may qualify) usually driven by a chode, (more preferably a Superchode), that has crashed into a buttload of mungemobiles through its now spoofed fenders, bumpers, doors, roofs, steering wheel, side panel mirrors, tire rims, etc.,etc.,etc. 3. That small, red thing with an S.P. picture on it that Joe drives. see Superchode.

cha-ching cha-ching {chuh-ching-chuh-ching}

1. (statement)- Noise made by a cash register. 2. Alternative phrasing for a dope statement if such a statement is not appropriate at that time.

dat {dat}

1. (def. article)- That.

de {deh}

1. (def. article)- The.

dig {dig}

1. (v.)- To accept the dopeness of an utchi.

* conjugation of words: 1st person - dig (I dig you, we dig that, they dig them, they dig us).3rd person - digs (She digs me, he digs it).past tense - dug (I dug him, we all dug that).present perfect - digging (I am digging it, they are digging her, she is digging us).

dopable {doh\pay\bull}

1. (n.)-The ability of an utchi to be doped.

Dopage {Doh\page}

1. (n.)- The unit of measurement describing the mass of dopeness in all utchii.

Dope {doh\pe}

1. (v.)- The act of creating dopeness. 2. Doing something which may be described as dopely.

* conjugation of words: 1st person - dope (I dope you, you dope me, we dope them, they dope her).3rd person - dopes (He dopes me, he dopes her).past tense - doped (I doped her, she has doped me).present perfect - doping (I am doping her, we are doping them). see down with de....

Dope {doh\pe}

1. (adj.)- Cool, awesome, down with it, bootykicking utchi. 2. Anything pertaining to a slacker, idiot, or fool. 3. Anything bearing remarkable similarity to anything which has at sometime considered to rock.

Dope-Gness {Dohp\gee\ness}

1. (adj.)- Dope-G dopeness.

Dopelment {Doh\pul\ment}

1. (n.)- An extremely buff flavor of food, dirt, sewage, body parts, etc. that causes x-tee-gee in ALL of its tasters. Antonym-see munge.

Dopely {doh\plee}

1. (adverb)- Describing an act which can be considered dope.

Dopeness {doh\pe\ness}

1. (n.)- That ability to dope..

Doper {doh\per}

1. (n.)- That which is in harmony with dopeness. see G-doper.

Dopey {doh\pee}

1. (n.)- A dwarf.

Dopics {Doh\picks}

1. (n.)- The study of dopeness.

Dopish {doh\pish}

1. (adj.)- Describing something mildly dope.

Dopism {Doh\piz\uhm}

1. (n.)- The belief that all beings should be buffily dope, aiming towards an overall morality that is in harmony with dopeness.

Dopnck {Dohp\nik}

1. (n.)- An utchmobile looking somewhat like a g-dog turned sideways, though not really. 2. An utchmobile that by the result of ... a) A really humongus utchfest. b) A nuclear war. c) An act by the utchimomma. d) Undopeness .....has a spoof in place of a backseat. see utchmobile.

doubleplus {duh\bul-plus}

1. (adj.)- extraordinarily, usually used in conjunction with DOPESPEAK T.M. vocabulary words.

down with de... {down-with-deh}

1. (v. phrase)- Alternative manner of saying to dope.

dredasut {dred\ah\soot}

1. (n.)- One who lives their life in such extreme dopeness that the Utchimomma itself chooses to bestow an extremely dope-g x-tee-gee on him/her.

Dredasut {dred\ah\soot}

1. (n.)- A group of Freudian chodes gathered by the Superchode himself, that chose to bestow a doubleplus funky g-dog x-tee-gee, on the Utchimomma itself, by jamming on heavy guitars, drums, and other various objects that make mindless noise.

dude {dood}

1. (n.)- Identifying something that is either dope-g or bad, as demonstrated by the following conversations: good version (dope g #1) "Your old house doped utchily into flames, I guess you get to buy that condo now." (dope g #2) "DUDE." see buddy. bad version (dope g #1) "Your undope utchi is pregnant."(dope g #2) "DUDE." see felch. 2. An accomplished dope-g or slacker.

Enigma {ee\nig\mah}

1. (n.)- An obscure saying, puzzle. 3. (n.)- The utchimommas of all indian singers. 3. (adj.)- see funky.

eye sherk {eye-shurk}

1. (n.)- That crusty funk stuck in one's eye in the morning, that makes it extremely difficult to enjoy sticking little pieces of moist, concave shaped plastic in your eyes. 2. That little bit of felch inside all of us utchii.

felch {felch}

1. (v.)- To do something very disturbing to all who call themselves utchii.

* conjugation of words: 1st person - felch (I felch him, you felch everyone). 3rd person - felches (He felches him, he felches you). past tense - felched (You felched him?, ya'll actually felched me?, I still can't believe I felched you!!). present perfect - felching (I am felching it now, they are felching us, bummer ain't it?).

felch {felch}

1. (adj.)- Extremely bad utchiquette.

felchage {felch\age}

1. (n.)- A measuring unit of felch.

felcher {felch\er}

1. (n.)- One who, by his actions, has chosen to cut himself off from the Utchfest. 2. One who commits an act of extreme undopeness.

felchily {fel\chilly}

1. (adverb)- To dope in the manner of felch.

felchism {felch\izm}

1. (n.)- Religion of undope felchers.

felchload {felch\loahd}

1. (n.)- Slightly less that a buttload in content, but a lot more in felchage. See buttload.

felchmobile {felch\mo\beele}

1. (n.)- A product of felchism; or an undope act of the Utchimomma.

felgy {fel\gee}

1. (n.)- An orgy of felch.

foo {fu}

1. (n.)- A dope-g homey buff snoop-diggity-dogg funk-meister. 2. A fool lacking the dignity of the letter "L" at the end of his/her name.

Freedom {free\dumb}

1. (n.)- The right of a felcher to non-conform to traditional society by mindlessly conforming to what that one cool rebel frood said would be pretty buff. 2. A doubleplus funky song.

Freshman {freash\man}

1. (n.)- One, who, by either birth or by incredibly undope following of slackerism, exists as a lower being, save this term used in reference to a member of Pflugerville High School's graduating class of 1995 A.D., in which case it is the buffest dope-g honor that may be applied.

Freudian chode {froodian-choad}

1. (n.)- Chodes which really, really dig Freud, if you know what I mean.

frood {frood}

1. (n.)- A really down-with-it dude. see chode.

fuggly {fuh\guh\lee}

1. (adj.)- Describing a doubleplus funky felcher as a product of accidental undopeness. 2.(n.) An unforseen moment of doubleplus mungness.

funk {funk}

1. (n.)- De undope utchi doped between one's toe, or other various areas of one's, body; a bit more undope than toe-jam.

funkiness {funk\ee\ness}

1. (n.)- The state of being in which an utchi is funky.

funky {funk\ee}

1. (adj.)- To be so undope that one is dope.

g {gee}

1. (extension)- Emphasizing word usually attached to a dope word in some manner.

* please note that with the addition of the prefix ' un-', any dope word may be reversed in meaning.

gaffle {gah\ful}

1. (v.)- To aquire an object of dopeness in a funky manner without proper compensation. see gank.

* conjugation of words: 1st person - gaffle(I gaffle her, she can gaffle, you go gaffle it). 3rd person - gaffles(He gaffles it, she gaffles for a living). past tense - gaffled(He gaffled it!, buy him a beer!, they gaffled the Nissan 240SX yesterday). present tense - gaffling(I got caught gaffling a limo today, James Newman, and Joe Li are the kings of gaffling).

gank {gank}

1. (v.)- To gaffle in a less efficient, brief, spur of the moment manner. see gaffling.

* conjugation of words: 1st person - gank(Yo, I can gank that in my sleep, we gank like no tomorrow). 3rd person - ganks(She goes and ganks stuff every night). past tense - ganked(I ganked that slushie machine, he ganked in his sleep). present tense - ganking(Man, hes ganking stuff from your car!!).

gangsta {gang\sta}

1. (n.)- One who wears a blue, red, or pink with little elephants checkering it, etc., bandanna around the head. 2. One who is literate in ONLY DOPESPEAK T.M..

g-dog {gee-dog}

1. (n.)- A dog shaped in the form of the letter G. 2. Anything else that under extreme pressure from various forces might be shaped like the letter G. 3. A g-doper with extreme dopeness.

g-doper {gee-doh\per}

1. (n.)- An individual who commits an extraordinary amount of dope-g acts.

g'd-up {jeed-up}

1. (adj.)- Depending on utchage and utchiquette, it can mean: (a) felched up. (b) Having an utchimomma level of buffiness.

Green Day {green\dae}

1. (n.) - A day when everything appears green (Duh. What did you expect?)

homey {hoe\mey}

1. (n.)- Any person who, through his actions, has demonstrated remark-able potential of becoming a g-doper.

huh {huh}

1. (statement)- An imperative request for confirmation that what someone has just said is really as unbuff as it was originally intended. 2. Declaration of one's belief in slackerism.

I.H.O.P. {eye\hop}

1. (n.)- International House of Prosti something or another, I don't seem to remember anymore.

I.H.O.W. {eye\how}

1. (n.)- see I.H.O.P. Changes a word, but keeps the same meaning.

I got a snake man {i-got-a-snake-man}

1. (code)- possible translations: (a) I got to urinate.(b) I got a long, straight,slithering animal in the reptilian family. (c) (Whatever I am doing) sucks. (d) I'm bored. (e) Dope da undope booty doper, yo oh so utchily.

idiot {ih\dee\yot}

1. (n.)- Based on the greek word 'idiotes' defined as "Citizens who did not vote or otherwise take part in public life." (Source: William A. McClenaghan, Magruder's American Government school textbook. p. 141.) 2. You.

It's all good {ihts-ahll-good}

1. (phrase)- Emphasizing that which is already known as doubleplus dope-g.

Junior {joon\yer}

1. (n.)- see Freshman.

"Last Year, No Fear" {last-yeer-no-feer}

1. (phrase)- A catch-all phrase for saying "Hi. I'm an idiot and I can't think of anything dope-G to put on a class shirt. I think I'll vote for something that looks like it might once have been buff." Commonly used as a fancy way of saying, "saywhatdumbbuff."

Leichengerucht {liken/gay/root}

1. (n.)- The odor of dead corpses. 2. Something that really sucks.

loser {loo\oo\oo\zer}

1. (n.)- One who does not excel in the arts of dopeness, often times referred to as an undope g-doper, or a buffoon. see buffoon.

Love {luv}

1. (n.)- Kind of like sleeping underneath a two ton pile of munge while little insects slowly gnaw at just about every body part, execept you don't die as quickly. Hence the phrase "Make war, not love - it's safer."

love {luv}

1. (v.)- The act of undoping every general belief held sacred by both slackerism and utchism, while wading in a pile of munge.

man {man}

1. (n.)- Person of male sex. 2. Emphasizing word used to confirm the fact that one is a man, homey or a dude, etc.

Metallica {met\tahl\lik\ka}

1. (n.)- Something that makes a sound somewhat similar to that of metal colliding into metal at 3.265x1011 mph. only louder and doper.

mosh {mosh}

1. (n.)- To undope one's body into strange and marvelously funky forms through jumping, running, being trampled on, flinging oneself into the hands of certain death, and screaming until the police finally show up to attempt to stop, or at least control the buttload of funky people. see mosh pit.

mosh pit {mosh-pitt}

1. (n.)- Any arena, whether it be spoofed, dope-g, or funky, in which the act of the mosh is performed by more than a few utchii. see mosh.

munge {munge}

1. (n.)- An utchi of such extreme felchness, that to describe it causes one to enter into a spoof of funky enigma. Be it known that to be a munge, or to take part in munge is really bad. Really bad. Undope. Felching.

mungemobile {munge\moh\beele}

1. (n.)- One CANNOT possibly concieve or imagine this UNdope-g utchi.

munge muffin {munge-muhfin}

1. (n.)- Kind of like a stud muffin, only you don't cut up, mix, and bake studs for this one.

mungy {mun\gee}

1. (adj.)- Describing that which might qualify as munge.

mural {myooral}

1. (n.)- A large, colorful spoof residing on a wall, that through careful doping, has attained a rare state of funkiness, which only members of the Class of '95 can dope into existence, more specifically, the entity known as Superchode, and his few chode followers.

neo-utchism {neeoh-oochizm}

1. (n.)- The modern movement of utchism. Though totally like the original utchism, including such a word in our dictionary adds a classical, elegant; really buff element to our dictionary....No, not really. see utchism.

Nine Inch Nails {nien-inch-nailz}

1. (n.)- Kind of like 8 inch nails, but longer and more acoustic.

niquebuff {ni\kee\buf}

1. (n.)- That which is on a same or lower level of dopeness as the utchimomma itself, except SLIGHTLY less experienced in the ways of utchism and dopism. 2. The utchimomma's daughter.

Nirvana {nur\vah\nah}

1. (n.)- The highest state of peace attainable in neo-utchism, during which the mind is filled with, and only with, the harmony of heavy guitars, loud drums, and the words of Mr. Cobain echoing through the space-time continuum of the human mind.

No, not really {noh-not-reahlly}

1. (phrase)- Negation of a previous saying, often used following anything even halfway dope-g said about a person, thing, or idea. 2. What the makers of DOPESPEAK T.M. would say regarding the question of whether or not they were mentally stable when creating this funky Compendium.

October {ok\toh\ber}

1. (n.)- Describing a period of time for which reality does not exist, even though illusion perceives otherwise, usually capped off by a spectacle of extreme weirdness, (referred to as Halloween) during which the full extent of the disjointed reality is manifested. 2. A spoof.

Offspring {off\spring}

1. (n.)- That which comes after a P.O.C.. 2. Some weird collection of froods that got together one day and put something on the radio. Not of extreme consequence.

Oktoberfest {ok\toh\ber\fest}

1. (n.)- A celebration cherishing the lack of reality that is typically referred to as October. Usually celebrated by the German culture, the ingenious method of worshipping the omission of reality is perhaps the only real basis the Germans have for thinking they are the master utchii.

perverted little gay boy {pur\vur\ted-lit\tel-gay-boy}

1. (n.)- A little boy that is both perverted and gay. 2. A phrase used to insultingly refer to one who would take it as a compliment. (exception to the implications of the first definition. Do not I repeat, do not, refer to anyone by this who would not be offended by this phrase. They might take it as a compliment. That would be bad, very bad.)

pimp {pihmp}

1. (n.)- A frood with a babe-magnet implanted inside of him. see Superchode.

pimpin' {pihmp\in}

1. (v.)- 1. Doping in the manner of pimps.

pimpwagon {pihmp\wahgon}

1. (n.)- A little bigger-than-life utchmobile, with plenty of room in the back, tending to camoflauge its buffiness through various funky features. 2. That big ugly piece of felch that Karl "der Grosse" Rees drives to school. 3. The probable means of transportation to and from the future historic,mini-utchfest of '95, better known as Summer Schlitterbahn '95.

P.O.C. {pee-oh-see}

1. (n.)- Product Of Conception- Not a life, not a fetus...but a P.O.C. see Offspring.

pooled out {poohled-out}

1. (adj.)- That which, through doping repititiously, has sporatically spoofed into a state of total and complete funky, boring, undope, non-utchiness. see unpooled.

quevwezex {quh\veh\zex}

1. (n.)- A g-dope funky word used mainly to dope a doubleplus utchimomma of points in scrabble. 2. Exclamation of frustration.

rock {rok}

1. (n.)- An utchi made from minerals. 2. (v.)- To dope with utcherean dopeness. see heavy metal.

* conjugation of words: 1st person - rock (You rock me, I rock forever, we all rock them). 3rd person - rocks (She rocks it, he rocks them, it rocks always). past tense - rocked (They rocked us, I rocked you into a doubleplus utchi coma). present perfect - rocking (They are rocking us, we are rocking them).

rule {roole}

1. (n.)- An official statement created by a higher authority that, depending on the circumstances, is meant to be broken. 2. (v.)- see rock.* conjugation of words: This is beginning to be undope.

safe-weekending {saef-week\end\ding}

1. (v.)- The act of abstaining from anything school-related on Saturday and Sunday, finishing homework Monday morning in Zero- hour, all while being extra-cautious not to sacrifice social health for physical safety.

say what dumbbuff {sae-wuht-dumb\buf}

1. (salutation)- Clearly to be used only as a greeting, this statement is used to determine the validity of one's dumbbuffedness.

* notice the undopish connotation of this phrase if the word "what" is doped back to the doper who says this.

Joe's senior memories book {Johez-seen\yor-mem\oh\rees-book}

1. (n.)- Kind of like the adults only section of the internet, only you don't need a password to access it.

senioritis {seen\yor\i\tis}

1. (n.)- The tendency of a body that wishes to be in rest to slow down to exactly that as far as school is concerned, and to instead apply all effort to the act of safe-weekending at some frood's utchfest.

sherk {shurk}

1. (n.)- The combination of a jerk and something else which will be left up to the individual reader to discern for his/herself. (Hint- it's pretty much undope.)

sherkness {shurk\ness}

1. (n.)- The level of sherk at which an utchi exists.

slacker {sla\ker}

1. (n.)- A less intelligent, but well accomplished dope-g utcherean g-doper.

slackerism {sla\ker\izm}

1. (n.)- A funky dope-g philosophy followed mostly by those who would call themselves slackers, that states slacking off rocks.

smashing pumpkins {sma\shing-puhmp\kins}

1. (v.)- To dope a big orange utchi.

* conjugation of words: 1st person - smash pumpkins (I smash pumpkins, they smash pumpkins). 3rd person - smashes pumpkins (He smashes pumpkins, she smashes pumpkins). past tense - smashed pumpkins (They smashed pumpkins, it smashed pumpkins). present tense - smashing pumpkins (We are smashing pumpkins).

Smashing Pumpkins {sma\shing-puhmp\kins}

1. (n.)- Bootykicking group of melody yielding homeys, who tend to smash pumpkins frequently. see smashing pumpkins.

smurf {smerf}

1. (n.)- Something blue and just a little bit taller than your quintessential chode.

smurfy {smerf\fee}

1. (adj.)- That which is either blue, small, disgustingly sweet, or really really gay. If you're mom thinks it's cute, you can be pretty sure it's smurfy.

snoop diggity dogg {snoop-dig\gi\tee-dog}

1. (adj.)- Something that is on the same level of dopeness as snoop doggy dogg's frow. see snoop doggy dogg.

Snoop Doggy Dogg {snoop-dog\gey-dog}

1. (n.)- A dope g-dog slacker dude with the utchi-momma of all frows, homey. see snoop diggity dogg.

Sophomore {sof\more}

1. (n.)- see Freshman.

spoof {spoof}

1. (n.)- A short symbolic hole in the continuum of reality, where one is no longer a part of the reality he/she truly exists in, but instead an unbuff reality.

spoof {spoof}

1.(v.)- To create a doubleplus large and excruciatingly painful hole in an utchi, both physically and symbolically.

* conjugation of words: 1st person - spoof(I spoof, we spoof, they spoof, we all spoof everything). 3rd person - spoofs(She spoofs, he spoofs). past tense - spoofed(We spoofed that city into doubleplus utchii with that nuclear warhead). present tense - spoofing(We are all spoofing the mall, she is spoofing the dog).

S.T.H.U.G. {sthug}

1. (v.)- Shut The Hell Up Geek(s)! Comes especially handy if shouted loudly for seemingly no reason whatsoever in the middle of class when a teacher asks a sleeping person if they think, considering the structure of the late-post modern acid jazz, that the equation for a Newtonian Universe is roughly y=x. They'll leave you alone for a long time.

S.T.P. {es-tee-pee}

1. (n.)- One who flies stone temples around and crash lands them on runways, creating a dope-g utchimomma sound unsurpassed by even the dopest of Boeing 747's.

suck {suhk}

1. (v.)- That which is done to a lollipop. 2. (adj.) The word used to describe the underlying beliefs of neo-utchism. see neo-utchism.

Superchode {suhper\choad}

1. (n.)- The father of all that which dare call themselves chode. Rivals the Utchimomma for the spot under the beer keg at the utchfest. see Utchimomma.

testride {test\ride}

1. (v.)- To experimentally dope a g'd-up utchi.

* conjugation of words: 1st person - testride(He began to testride her, She began to testride him). 3rd person - testrides(That dog testrides the table leg, she testrides an exhaust pipe). past tense - testrided(They all testrided her, and they gave her 2 thumbs up). present tense - testriding(I am testriding the bicycle...in bed).

testrider {test\ri\der}

1. (n.)- One who dopes a g'd-up utchi.

The Monty Python Game {the-mon\tee-pie\thon-game}

1. (n.)- This is a really buff-g homey game type thing, involving tennis balls, tennis rackets, Holy Hand Grenades, and drainage pipes, that the Utchimomma and his band of slackers made up, late one Saturday night. It is believed they were drunk, but the game was pretty dope-g anyway.

they're all going to laugh at you {they\re-all-go\wing-too-laff-at-you}

1. (declaration)- Phrase usually spoken to someone who has done something undope, but bootykickingly utchi. to be {too-bee}

1. (v.)- An extremely short way of saying the person referred to sucks in the most undope-g of manners.

* conjugation of words: 1st person - to be(He is,sorry you are, she is, I am, they are). past tense - to be(He was, I was, she was, we all were).

ungaffle {un\gah\ful}

1. (v.)- To undopely lose a gaffled object at the exact same moment as being undopely doped by a felcher being known as "pig". It is most unlikely that a gaffled object will be ungaffled from the gaffler, rather it is more likely that a ganked object will be unganked from the ganker; since ganking is a more crude and inefficient way of gaffling. see ungank. see gank, gaffle.

ungank {un\gank}

1. (v.)- A more likely undope term to be used if ever caught by a felching "pig". see ungaffle, gank.

unpool (un\poohl}

1. (v.)- To dope utchiness into that which had once been spoofed as non-utchi. see pooled out.

utchage {oo\chage}

1. (n.)- The, less commonly used, language of utchi, sometimes extended to that of dopeness.

Utchics {oo\chicks}

1. (n.)- The science of dope-g homey, g-dog utchii. see Dopics.

utchism {oo\chi\zim}

1. (n.)- The belief that there is an utchimomma and she will one day manifest her utchiness again to all utchii in a dope-g utchfest. see dopism.

utchmobile {ooch\mo\beele}

1. (n.)- An utchi on 4 wheels (though 3 or 2 or 16 might occasionally suffice). 2. Something by which utchii may g-dopingly transport themselves from one utchfest to another. see dopnck. see chodemobile. see pimpwagon.

utcherean {oo\cher\eean}

1. (adj.)- Describing an utchi. see utchi.

utchfest {ooch\fest}

1. (n.)- A dope-g utcherean event, similar to the historic event of woodstock, except larger, and longer.

utchi {oo\chee}

1. (v.)- To do something considered utcherean. * conjugation of words: unpronounceable by normal undope utchii, so why bother to list them?

utchi {oo\chee}

1. (n.)- Anything which has ever, currently does, will have, might have, or never has existed at any point on the imaginary realm of reality. In effect, anything may be called an utchi, but it is best if only used in reference to something dope, or undope, preferably something dope-g or undope-g.

utchi {oo\chee}

1. (adj.)- Used in the same manner as utcherean. see utcherean.

utchii {oo\cheye}

1. (pl. n.)- Plural of the word utchi.

Utchimomma {oo\chee-mah\ma}

1. (n.)- The god of all which call themselves, utchii. see Superchode. 2. The well hidden pseudo-creator of the Superchode. It is said that it resides in the firey pits of Africa-hot, Snowflake, Arizona.

utchiquette {oo\chee\ket}

1. (n.)- Utchi ettiquette.

whoomp {whoo\mp}

1. (exclamation)- The wholme that one wheavmes the ball through to score a whellme of a lot of points.

word up {wurd-up}

1. (phrase)- The direction in which the Utchimomma tends to write in autograph books. 2. See yo, w'sup.

w'sup {wuh\zup}

1. (salutation)- hello. see buddy.

x-tee-gee {ex\tee\gee}

1. (n.)- A dope state of ecstasy. 2. Enlightenment into the utchiness of all utchii.

yes, I am {yes-eye-am}

1. (phrase)- Affirmation of one's own sherkness. 2. Affirmation of anything else.

yo {yoh}

1. (????)- A word used either in a coordinating conjunction such as, "I doped her, yo, doubleplus utchi." or used in a preposition to any phrase containing the word dope, dude, or utchi.

Zero-hour {zeer/oh-ower}

1. (n.)- An extended period of sleep during which one may wake up every now and then under the false pretense, of taking a grade.one Saturday.

Published byTwoguyswhoshouldhavebeenstudyingbutthoughtfinalsfelchedanyways, Inc.
Copyright Utchimoman Publishing, 1995
First (and thank God only) Printing in Austin, Texas (Utchfest itself)
All rights surrendered to Big B. (No, not really:)